Monday, December 23, 2013

Save on novelty gifts for the holidays

If you've never explored the wacky world of cheap novelty gifts, there will never be a better time to do it. You can't imagine the hilarious five-quid horrors that await your credit card, and you'll find yourself very curious about the people who design whoopie cushions, Shut The Hell Up chewing gum, and loo roll dispensers that say rude things when moved.

Humour related to bodily functions is much prized in the world of novelty gifts, as you may have gathered. Other frequent themes are gadgets and electronics, puzzles and magic tricks, adult games and toys (think sex and alcohol), and black humour (like bloody handprint fridge magnets).  The most universally popular type of novelty has to be the ordinary household item bearing an amusing motto or made to resemble something else, like the mug designed as a replica of a pill bottle.

Once you locate an item you want to buy, shop around for the best price because it will usually be carried by numerous novelty dealers.  All the merchandise is manufactured overseas, and you may wish to check with wholesalers if you plan to buy not one but five scorpion lollypops (yes, the insects are real, but they're dead) for family or friends.  Note:  some sites claim to give wholesale prices to draw custom, but small lots and relatively large prices give these away. Parrot payday loans could offer the funds needed to purchase novelty gifts for all your friend's and family.

What do the novelty shops look like?

Some of the many websites with delightfully cheap and crazy collections are listed below.

Totally Funky.  The stock was assembled in part to gratify the kiddies.  It includes shoe-shaped containers of flavoured lip gloss (one like a furry Uggs boot, one like a flip-flop) for £3, sure to delight young girls of all ages.  There are two types of novelty pencil, the Catapencil (shaped like the fatal weapon in Murder Must Advertise) and drum stick pencils (sold as a pair, of course), both for £5.

For your bibulous relatives, try the Drink in case of emergency coaster pack (£3) or splurge on the Gin and Titonic ice tray (cubes are shaped like ill-fated ocean liners and deadly icebergs) for £7.

The Random Shop.  Adult-themed gifts tend to run a bit costlier, and here prices range from seven to forty pounds.  Smaller toys include the Wind Up Bouncy Boobs (they patter around on feet, inducing the movement), the Wind-up Willy Racing Game (three tiny contestants, chance for betting), and the Rude Lips Mens Pants (with a lip-embroidered hole for quick release).

On the expensive end are the Trolly Dolly (inflatable air hostess, more or less anatomically correct) and the Make Your Own Vibrator kit (complete with mould to replicate original organ and liquid rubber that emulates skin).

Lazybone.  Here's where you shop for food-themed items (unless you just can't pass up the zombie slippers en route).  You can choose among reindeer pâté (£17), Sunnyside Egg Shaper (the yolk becomes the sun, the white a puffy cloud for £7), the Sweet Tooth Sugar Bowl (shaped like a molar, £13), and the Coolamari Ice Tray (cubes are cartoonish octopi, £8).

Some gifts are obviously not intended for usage, like the Bacon Body Wash, and others can be used but are so restricted in function it seems unlikely.  If you had a Mango Master (removes the large and stubborn seed from the fruit), would you ever use it?  Well, possibly, and certainly the lily-shaped funnel could come in handy, but it's easy to visualise a dusty kitchen heaped to the rafters with similarly inutile accessories.

Monster Stuff tops the lot for genuinely bizarre selections.  There's the ultimate recycled gift of Elephant Poo In A Box, collected from zoos and safari parks in the UK and treated to render it odourless.  It does have a purpose here, serving as potting mix, and sunflower seeds are provided.

The ring-shaped Weener Kleener soap (uses are obvious), the Minecraft plush and action figures (many already sold out), swearing turtle or parrot, and cloth dispenser in the shape of a cat's bum complete with curling tail can all be found elsewhere, but assembling all of them in one place is comic genius.  Monster Stuff has a distinct locker-room aesthetic, but in the world of novelty gifts that's considered an advantage.

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